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i am a princess and i have been cursed

March 25, 2010

I have a theory. A theory about glasses. Sun-glasses. Large bug-eyed sunglasses in particular.

I heart Sunglasses

Besides the hawt fashion sensibility of it, I want to bring around a serious topic of the disabling cripple-ity of possessing elongated eyelashes. For most of my 1990’s childhood, I sat on, lost, allowed a pair to be crushed in the garage door, tossed aside, and just plain bah-humbuged sunglasses. I WANTED to wear them but I was never comfortable and then again, I am also notoriously a klutz about my possessions.

When I was born one spring day, my family exclaimed, “These are the longest eye-lashes on a baby, EVAR!” With extraordinarily good things always comes a nasty curse. My curse was the inability to wear sunglasses properly. I couldn’t bat my eyes behind needed UV protection and was instead forced to flirt openly and un-slyly.

One day I met a boy, a boy that I called too pretty for me to date. In truth, I was jealous of him and his LONGER eyelashes. How rude! But he fought and nabbed me, now we do a lot of butterfly kisses. When a dust-mote comes rushing along straight into our eye and gets ensnared in our overly super-efficient blepharis, we rescue each other with croons of, “I got you, babe,” and a gentle untwisting to set us straight.

I have only recently forayed again into the world of sunglasses because, dangum it, I now live in the Land of the Sun and they are a must. To my surprise during fittings, I have the run of the mill. They make ’em just right for girls like us. Err, and for my man, too.  These large bug-eyed creations are not for the stubby anymore, but for the extraordinary follicles that sweep debris bravely aside all day long. Worry not, stunted-feeler beings, you can get extensions AND wear protection, too!

One sunny day, I went driving...

2 Comments leave one →
  1. March 26, 2010 12:17 pm

    Wait a minute.. I’m jealous of you BOTH for having long eye lashes. Want to trade?!

    I still love my bug-eyed sunglasses. 🙂

    heeeeee. i flutter my eyes at you. – Haley

  2. March 26, 2010 12:18 pm

    and PS… love the pictures!

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